Episode 181: Harnessing the Power of Reflection

[00:00:00] Welcome back to the Back on Track Achieving Healthy Weight Loss, where I help you get on track and stay on track with your weight loss journey. I'm your host, Dr. Alicia Shelly. So let's get started.

[00:00:27] Welcome to the Back on Track Achieving Healthy Weight Loss podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Alicia Shelly.

[00:00:34] So now that Christmas is over, let the new year come in. OK, so as we get ready for the new year, the one thing that we always do, regardless, or at least I know I try to do, is to make a New Year's resolution.

[00:00:52] Dr. Alicia Shelly I know they say don't do it, but I do it every year.

[00:00:56] But before we start making some new goals, we really need to take out a moment to reflect on what we have accomplished this year.

[00:01:05] I don't know about you, but sometimes I get so ultra focused on what I'm trying to do that if I don't meet this particular goal, I get down on myself.

[00:01:16] I'm like, oh, you didn't put the work in. You didn't do this, you know, and you didn't do that.

[00:01:21] So I get down on myself. So it is important that we kind of take a moment to reflect to really see what we have done.

[00:01:29] Now, why is it important for us to learn or to reflect on our wins and even our challenges?

[00:01:35] When we reflect, it allows us to, number one, see our progress as progress.

[00:01:42] We don't see it as a negative. You actually see it as a positive.

[00:01:46] I mean, I know about myself. In our minds, we feel like we sometimes just don't do enough.

[00:01:51] We may not have exercised five days out the week, but we did three.

[00:01:56] So we sometimes minimize what we did and our progress instead of celebrating them.

[00:02:02] And I don't know about you. It's so hard.

[00:02:05] It's hard for me because I'm a perfectionist.

[00:02:07] I want everything to be perfect, but nothing is perfect.

[00:02:10] And I have to remind myself on that.

[00:02:12] When we reflect, it helps us to track our progress, celebrate our achievements.

[00:02:18] It also helps us avoid being disappointed so that we end up giving up in our weight loss journey.

[00:02:24] Also by reflecting, it provides clarity on areas for improvement without judgment, without judgment.

[00:02:31] And so there are several ways how we can approach reflection.

[00:02:36] The first way I would say is, number one, schedule out time for yourself to sit there without anything distracting you.

[00:02:45] Put your cell phone on do not disturb.

[00:02:47] Put everything on mute and just focus on the reflection part.

[00:02:54] I do find that it is important to be intentional about the reflection.

[00:02:58] Honestly, our schedules are so busy.

[00:03:01] So if you don't take out time or if you don't schedule time, it's not just going to happen.

[00:03:06] Because most times we want to enjoy, our mind wants to do things that we enjoy, which may not be necessarily journaling or reflecting.

[00:03:13] But it's important to do that.

[00:03:14] Next, once you do that, either take out a journal or a piece of paper or even take out your computer, whatever it is that helps you to kind of jot down your ideas and thoughts.

[00:03:26] Sometimes I use the notes section on my phone where I can just use the microphone recording and I just kind of talk it out.

[00:03:34] And it helps me to kind of get my thoughts out there as well.

[00:03:38] And then I can go back and change it.

[00:03:41] So that may be an option too, you know, using some microphone to get your thoughts out there.

[00:03:46] Next, I want you to set your timer.

[00:03:48] So make sure you have your watch, your timer, your phone where you can set your timer for at least 10 minutes total, but for two minutes each section.

[00:03:58] So the first section is you want to start off, set your timer for two minutes and to kind of start off writing where you started.

[00:04:05] So looking back to where you started this weight loss journey, what were you doing?

[00:04:10] How did you feel?

[00:04:11] Were you more tired?

[00:04:12] Were you fearful?

[00:04:13] Like where you're like, oh, my blood pressure's up.

[00:04:15] I need to do something.

[00:04:16] Write down how it was where you started.

[00:04:19] And it doesn't have, you don't have to necessarily put your starting weight, but you can put how you feel, what was going on around that time.

[00:04:26] And just kind of for the two minutes, just brainstorm where you were.

[00:04:30] The next 10 minutes, you want to kind of write what you accomplished in this past year.

[00:04:36] And make sure you write the big and the little.

[00:04:39] So whether it's, hey, I started eating more vegetables or something as huge as, hey, I started exercising four days a week and I work out with the trainer one day after week.

[00:04:50] Those are huge goals and accomplishments.

[00:04:52] You want to write that all down.

[00:04:53] And it can be as simple as, hey, I started drinking more water today.

[00:04:57] I always like to encourage my patients, especially when they make changes to their lifestyle, because it is hard to change our habits.

[00:05:05] It's hard to change our lifestyle because sometimes you just want to enjoy what you want to enjoy.

[00:05:10] You want to have that soda and have no guilt.

[00:05:12] But the fact that you've been able to change your lifestyle, drink more water, drink less soda is amazing.

[00:05:18] And so you want to make sure you write that down within two minutes of what you've accomplished and what happens you've changed.

[00:05:25] The third two minutes, you want to kind of write down what challenges you face, what obstacles were difficult for you.

[00:05:32] And you can even write down how you overcame it or didn't overcome it at the time.

[00:05:36] So making sure you write down your challenges.

[00:05:39] And then the next two minutes is writing down what your goals are for the new year.

[00:05:45] And the last two minutes is basically how do you plan to get there?

[00:05:50] So if your goal for the new year is to lose so much weight so you can get a particular surgery, then you have to ask yourself, how do I plan to lose this weight?

[00:06:00] Do I plan to eat smaller meals?

[00:06:02] Do I plan to drink more water?

[00:06:05] Do I plan to exercise?

[00:06:06] You kind of write down how you plan to get there with the goals that you chose.

[00:06:11] And so that adds up to 10 minutes of reflection.

[00:06:15] And honestly, we all have 10 minutes.

[00:06:18] It's just trying to find that time where it's just you and your thoughts and you're just focusing on what it is that you need to do.

[00:06:25] So only 10 minutes.

[00:06:27] Now let's dive a little bit deeper into celebrating the wins and kind of celebrating and writing down what you accomplished.

[00:06:34] I do find this to be sometimes the harder part of it because let's say if you haven't lost as much weight as you would have liked, sometimes your view is somewhat negative towards that and it's hard to find the things that you've changed or the small wins.

[00:06:48] But in those cases, it's important to jot it all down.

[00:06:52] I remember I was talking to a patient, I think it was last week or the week before, and he was saying that, you know, doc, I started changing my mindset.

[00:07:01] And I realized that I really need to celebrate the small things because the small things in me, for example, he was like going to walk.

[00:07:09] It helped me to stay encouraged so that I can keep moving forward.

[00:07:12] And so I have these goals of what I want to do, but I have these small goals that help me get there.

[00:07:18] And so that's exactly what small goals or small wins are.

[00:07:22] So they are small wins or just achievements that may seem minor, like I'm drinking more water or I'm eating more vegetables, but they contribute to a longer goal, a larger goal.

[00:07:35] So by drinking more water, I stay hydrated.

[00:07:37] I have more energy.

[00:07:39] My kidney function is better.

[00:07:41] If I'm exercising a little bit more, I have more physical activity.

[00:07:45] My heart's better.

[00:07:46] So these small achievements actually contribute to the larger goal of losing weight.

[00:07:51] And why do small wins matter?

[00:07:53] You may be thinking, well, they build momentum.

[00:07:56] They build confidence.

[00:07:58] They serve as reminders that we are making progress, even if it's more difficult, even if it's in challenging times, we're making progress.

[00:08:06] And I think that's the thing.

[00:08:07] When we look at weight loss, sometimes we think of it as like a sprint where we need to do something or change something up for like 15 days, 20 days.

[00:08:16] And if we don't see weight loss and it didn't work.

[00:08:18] No, that is not how you look at this.

[00:08:20] You should look at weight loss as if it is a marathon where you have the ups, you have the downs.

[00:08:25] I was talking to a lady the other day and she's like, said days I'm losing weight very frequently and I see it more consistently.

[00:08:31] And then I just pause and plateau and maybe not lose any weight for a few weeks.

[00:08:35] And she's like, this is just how my body is.

[00:08:38] This is what we do.

[00:08:39] And so it's important to kind of change your mindset and expectations because this is a sprint.

[00:08:45] And so there will be ups and there will be downs.

[00:08:47] But if we celebrate the small wins and acknowledge them in a meaningful way, it makes a huge difference in how we view our weight loss journey.

[00:08:57] It changes how we review our weight loss journey.

[00:09:00] Now, how do you celebrate your small wins?

[00:09:02] Definitely acknowledge them, write them down, share them with people.

[00:09:05] Friends, and then maybe treat yourself to something special or non-eating reward for accomplishing the small wins.

[00:09:13] Now, I want to dive a little bit deeper in how we learn from our setbacks and challenges.

[00:09:20] Without guilt.

[00:09:21] Without guilt.

[00:09:23] That is the big thing.

[00:09:25] Sometimes I have to remind myself that this is a no judgment zone.

[00:09:30] We're not judging ourselves right now.

[00:09:32] But we want to look at our challenges and figure out ways how we can overcome them as we go forward.

[00:09:39] But this is not a time for you to get down on yourself and talk badly about yourself.

[00:09:44] Now, when we are focusing on these challenges, it's important to redefine our setbacks.

[00:09:49] So frame our setbacks as an opportunity for growth rather than a way that we fail.

[00:09:56] So if we ate multiple slices of cake, it's not necessarily a failure.

[00:10:01] It's an opportunity for growth.

[00:10:04] So it's important to make sure that our setbacks are more for growth versus failures.

[00:10:10] Also, it's important to identify the patterns and the triggers and brainstorm strategies for improvement.

[00:10:16] Sometimes you don't realize you do things very frequently.

[00:10:20] You know, I was sitting there cooking and I like to taste, especially if it's like we were making brownies at times.

[00:10:25] I wanted to taste it.

[00:10:26] And I'm like, maybe you don't have to taste the whole brownie mix, you know?

[00:10:32] Honestly, I mean, I tasted it after the brownies were in.

[00:10:36] I was the bowl that was left is what I tasted.

[00:10:38] So I wasn't like tasting it while I was actually cooking.

[00:10:40] But when the brownies were baking, I was like, oh, let me take a little swab from the mixing bowl.

[00:10:47] So it's important to kind of figure out the key lessons of the obstacles and find ways to improve it.

[00:10:55] And then it's also extremely important that we practice self-compassion.

[00:10:59] We say things to ourselves that we would never say to anyone else.

[00:11:06] And that should not be the case.

[00:11:09] We should treat everybody, even ourselves, the same and not be so hard on ourselves.

[00:11:14] It's interesting.

[00:11:15] I'll walk into a room and the person has lost weight.

[00:11:18] I'm like, well, congratulations on losing weight.

[00:11:19] And they say, well, it wasn't as much as I wanted.

[00:11:23] And I'm like, but you lost something.

[00:11:25] So it's important to kind of have those self-compassion because sometimes we are so negative to ourselves that we forget we miss the win.

[00:11:35] We miss the win.

[00:11:36] I remember there was an older lady.

[00:11:37] She was in her 70s and she was trying to lose weight so she can get knee surgery.

[00:11:43] And the surgeon told her that she had to lose 30 pounds.

[00:11:46] And so we're working with her to lose weight.

[00:11:49] And she got down to like 21 pounds.

[00:11:52] She's under the threshold of a BMI of 40 was what they were looking for prior to doing the surgery.

[00:11:58] But she was so discouraged because she's like, well, I had seven pounds to go and I didn't lose it.

[00:12:03] So I just stopped.

[00:12:04] I'm like, no, you were so close.

[00:12:08] You were so close to 30 pounds, just seven pounds to go.

[00:12:12] So if she would have made the seven pounds, had she not stopped, but because her mindset said, oh, I didn't meet what he wanted me to do.

[00:12:20] So I'm just going to do nothing.

[00:12:22] Stopped her from being great.

[00:12:24] And she could have lost more weight had she just continued.

[00:12:27] So it's important to practice self-compassion.

[00:12:31] It's important to replace the negative self-talk with supportive, encouraging words for yourself.

[00:12:37] And then remind yourself that progress is not linear.

[00:12:40] Don't compare yourself to your friends or other people who are also trying to lose weight because everyone is different.

[00:12:47] Everyone's body is unique.

[00:12:49] So know that as this progress, this weight loss journey, it will have its ups and its downs.

[00:12:54] And so you just got to ride the waves and know that once it goes up, it will go down.

[00:12:59] So just remind yourself of that and practice self-care.

[00:13:02] So in conclusion, reflecting on our progress is so powerful and it's something that must be done.

[00:13:11] As we go into the new year, in order for us to know where we're going and to see the change, we need to see where we've been and remind ourselves that this is a no judgment zone.

[00:13:22] We're not judging.

[00:13:22] We're just trying to see where we are so that we can move forward.

[00:13:27] So I encourage you today to spend at least 10 minutes reflecting on your wins, your challenges and setbacks from the past year.

[00:13:35] And I hope that you can share your reflection.

[00:13:38] Feel free to tag me on Instagram or our Facebook or wherever you post at DrShellemd so that we can see what are some of your wins that you were able to accomplish in 2024.

[00:13:50] I thank you so much for joining us today on the Back on Track Achieving Healthy Weight Loss podcast.

[00:13:56] If you like this episode, please share with others, like it and subscribe.

[00:14:00] And don't forget to leave a five-star review.

[00:14:03] And we will see you all next time.