Episode 141: Overcoming Limiting Beliefs for Optimal Well-being

[00:00:00] Welcome back to the Back on Track Achieving Healthy Weight Loss, where I help you get on track and stay on track with your weight loss journey. I'm your host, Dr. Alicia Shelly. So let's get started.

[00:00:27] Welcome to the Back on Track Achieving Healthy Weight Loss Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Alicia Shelly. Have you ever wondered why you do the things you do? Especially when it

[00:00:39] comes to healthy behaviors? I know myself. I don't know what it is about me. When I go into the grocery store, I have to go straight to the vegetable line instead of going to the other parts.

[00:00:50] And I'm like walking around in a circle. Like there's so many things that we do that are impacted by our beliefs, our values and our experiences. And today, we're going to discuss why you need

[00:01:03] to be more conscious about it and how our beliefs, our values and our experiences impact our present behaviors. And today, I have the expert, Dr. Maisha Clairborn, who is a physician, thought leader, consultant and trauma-informed communication trainer. She is the founder

[00:01:22] of Mind Remapping Company and co, where she focuses on psychological safety and healthcare and corporate environment. She teaches her audiences that by mastering their communication and thought habits, they can mitigate harm and create psychological safety by becoming responsible

[00:01:41] for the impact of their world, their words and behavior. So welcome to the podcast, Dr. Clairborn. We're so happy to have you today. Thank you, Dr. Shelly. It is so good to be here. It's so good

[00:01:55] to be here. I'm very excited to have this conversation. Yes. Well, before we get started, please tell us a little bit more about yourself and how did you get into this space?

[00:02:05] Well, you know, first of all, I'll say my favorite job in the world is that of mommy. I have a nine year old and nine year old boy and he's why I do the work that I do.

[00:02:16] And yeah, it's just to be able to create a safer world, a better world for him and his friends and my nieces and nephews. And so that's the foundation of why I transitioned. I am a physician

[00:02:29] by training and I've always sort of been fascinated with human behavior and the mind and why we do the things we do. And perhaps it is a product of my upbringing, you know, I grew up in a home

[00:02:42] where there was trauma. And I often asked like, why? Why is this happening? So it led to a psychology degree. And because I love the body, I was like, well, I think I want to go to

[00:02:54] medical school, but I always was just really fascinated with the root cause of behavior. And that led me throughout my career to really trailblaze and swim upstream as I used to say. And so that's

[00:03:07] how I got into this work of psychological safety. I think it was kind of full circle work when I stepped into stepped out of clinical medicine and eventually stepped into activism. I'm still very connected and concerned with the root cause, but more at the societal level,

[00:03:24] at the organizational level, and really bringing human behavior into the work of systemic equity and inclusion. Because if you think about it, guess who runs the systems? People. So at the end of the day, it all comes down to people, our beliefs, our values,

[00:03:44] our inherited conversations, things that we inherit growing up. It all comes down to humanity. I love that. And you're right. It definitely all comes down to humanity. And why we do the things we do, which is pretty impressive here. Now, what are some beliefs

[00:04:04] and values that people have that impact their health? Like, what are something that kind of play that role with why people do what they do? Yeah. You know, one of the things being an integrative

[00:04:16] medicine physician when I was in clinical medicine, I was very focused on lifestyle. I was very focused on food as medicine and movement. And one of the things that is so pervasive is that being

[00:04:29] healthy is hard. I don't know where that belief comes from in our culture, but there is a belief that pervades our culture that is being healthy is hard. And I think in some ways, the system

[00:04:45] sort of is set up in certain areas to make it hard and make it more expensive. However, when we don't question those beliefs like, well, what would make it easy? That's the question. Well,

[00:04:59] what would make it easy? Then we begin to actually settle into those beliefs. And then the mind by nature, it takes the path of least resistance. So if it's too hard to eat, if it's

[00:05:12] too hard to be healthy, well, I guess I'm just going to do what's easy and not be so healthy. That's so true. And I know personally, sometimes I have to kind of reshape my mind,

[00:05:23] my thoughts because in my mind, I'm like, I don't have time to cook. I don't have time to meal prep. But then I'm like, we have 10 minutes. Like how long is it going to take you?

[00:05:31] You just sit here for a second, put your timer on and meal prep. And maybe for me, it's just kind of the stuff that will move the needle or the hardest thing mentally for me to grasp

[00:05:43] to go forward. I think that sometimes people have an internal image in their mind of what healthy eating is supposed to look like or what exercise is supposed to look like. And admittedly, I did too. Like, you know, they depict these commercials with exercise being you got to

[00:06:02] be on your Peloton or you got to be in the gym and the big classroom doing your stepper aerobics. So you got to be lifting and pumping iron, you know, and what they don't depict is like

[00:06:12] there are 15 minute hit workouts. And for those of you who don't know what hit is high intensity interval training, 15 10 minute workouts on YouTube. So if you have a phone or an iPad or computer with internet access, then you can just pull up your YouTube and look

[00:06:31] up H I I T beginner. Yes. I remember one time I did the whole I think was the beach body with the gentleman and I died. I'm like if the people on the video are dying, I have no chance.

[00:06:49] Exactly. Beginner. Beginner. Always put that beginner because you know, then they'll make modifications for those who may be at the beginning of their journey or even intermediate. Sometimes even like even as an intermediate, I'll pull up beginner stuff because I don't

[00:07:05] know what these people are out there doing. They're like, you know, pro athlete level trainers over here trying to get you to put your foot on the ceiling. No, no, no, man. Yeah, I mean like dancing. I used to tell patients, do you like to dance?

[00:07:22] Just turn on the music for 15 minutes and just dance like nobody's watching. You don't have to be able to dance. Just move your body, you know. And so when you have this concept of what

[00:07:34] thing is supposed to look like, you know that healthy eating means you have to eat a salad all day every day. No, the question is how do you make it easier? How do you do the healthy

[00:07:46] things in a way that tastes good or that is fun, right? If you're not a cook, hey, okay. Now, look we're so spoiled. We have food delivery services, meal prep services, you know, they've got all kinds of things and you can even choose healthy things off the menu

[00:08:06] of your local, you know, fat. There are like healthy fast food restaurants now. You go to Panera, I don't know where people are if there's a Panera everywhere, but there's like these restaurants that they have good healthy food. So it's just about questioning that belief and saying,

[00:08:24] is that really true? How can I expand that? So what are some strategies that people can use in order to kind of question? Like, you know, how do you recognize number one that you may be

[00:08:36] having a limiting belief? And then number two, how do you transition in your mind about that? Well, you know, one of the ways that you may could recognize that a belief is limiting is

[00:08:47] about how it makes you feel in your body. Right. So a lot of times we forget to recognize these sensations that are happening in our body. And if you're wanting to do something,

[00:08:59] but you have an inner voice telling you something and it gives you kind of an ick feeling, you might feel it in your throat. You might feel it in your chest. You might feel it in sort of

[00:09:08] like your gut or solar plexus might even feel it in your head. But if it doesn't make you feel good, then you might think, well, is that really true? And you might even ask, well,

[00:09:19] could I are there resources? Are there people that know how to do what it is that I want to do? But when it makes you feel bad, that's the point to question. Where did I pick this up?

[00:09:32] Is this belief true? And if it does feel really true, could it not be true? What if it weren't true? That's true. What if it weren't true? What if something else was true that we could use?

[00:09:45] Exactly. Exactly. So I think that's one way. I think the other way is if you recognize it as a repeating negative voice in your head, it's probably a limiting belief. All right. So the two are connected. It's probably going to make you feel bad,

[00:10:01] but if it's a repeated negative voice in your head, it's probably limiting belief. And also if you're talking to people and they're giving you ideas and you hear yourself saying, yeah, but... That's a good one. Yeah, but...

[00:10:15] Yeah, but then it's probably a limiting belief. Right? There's probably a limiting belief anytime I hear the words, yeah, but... You know, then I think, oh, that's a limiting belief coming right behind that. That's true. So I love that. So if you feel icky,

[00:10:33] an icky feeling, it definitely shows that it's a limiting belief. It doesn't make you feel good. And then you say repeating voices in your head or you say, yeah, but are all signs that this may be a limiting belief. Exactly.

[00:10:47] How do you overcome that limiting belief? What do you do for... Well, you know, they say in the 12 Step Programs, awareness is the first step to recovery. True. That's true. Yes. Yes. So the awareness really is a huge step. You recognize that the belief is there.

[00:11:05] And then sometimes there are things when you start to recognize it, you can't unrecognize it, but then what do you do with that? Well, you seek out resources of how do you shift that limiting belief. I said earlier, you might ask, what else could be true? What could

[00:11:19] be true? How could this be wrong? And what resources could I access that might actually prove me wrong? Right? The other thing to overcome that limiting belief is to really

[00:11:32] ask yourself, when did I first think that? When was the first time I ever had that voice in my hand? What was going on at that time? What were the circumstances? And are the circumstances still

[00:11:44] the same? Or are they different? Like what about the circumstances different? Like maybe you picked up this belief as a child or as a young person with less resources than you have now. Right? And then now you may have different resources, either different internal,

[00:12:01] more knowledge, different friends. There are more things in the world you can access. So it renders that belief invalid now and you can choose a new belief. I like that. So the first thing you said is awareness. And what could be true?

[00:12:18] Asking yourself that question. And then what resources are available? And then reminding yourself, when did I first start thinking about this thought, this limiting read? What were the circumstances surrounding? Yeah, yeah. Because when you think about that,

[00:12:33] when you think about when did I first have that belief? When did that belief first come into being? What was happening around that? What were the circumstances? Then you might find, like do I have resources now that I didn't have then that I can now be empowered

[00:12:48] to change that belief and change the behavior around it? What do I know now that I didn't know then when I acquired that belief? And recognizing the belief is no longer serving me.

[00:13:02] So then what can I choose to believe instead? And then actually accepting that belief and then moving forward. That's right. That's very powerful. So these are really great steps on how we can take

[00:13:16] like kind of that awareness just so that we make sure the audience gets it. Could you maybe give us an example of somebody utilizing this step just so that we make sure they got all of the

[00:13:27] different steps? Absolutely. Absolutely. So I used to coach women in medicine around career transition specifically, right? And so always there would be this belief, I can't have the job that I want. I can't have the job that I want. So in working with these docs,

[00:13:49] I would discover like when was the first time that they had that belief? And generally speaking, it was something that came up around training, something a belief that was infused during our conditioning. And when we saw the source of that belief and I showed them like look at

[00:14:08] all these people that have found their ideal careers. And then we look and you now you have me as a resource, you have community as a resource. Let's look at how this belief is untrue. And

[00:14:20] let's do the work to be able to prove that that belief is wrong and put the structures in place. And then these people found that they could have a meaningful career or meaningful job that

[00:14:34] they actually loved. I'll give another example that's closer to the more of the eating and the nutrition range. When I was working at this is years ago, I was used to work part-time at Kaiser

[00:14:47] and I would see these patients that come in. I saw this guy that came in and he was with his wife and in his chart was hypertension, hypertension, hypertension, uncontrolled, uncontrolled. It hasn't changed diet, hasn't changed diet. So I asked him, sir, why is it that you know

[00:15:05] that your diet is a contributor to your blood pressure being uncontrolled? Why stopping you from shifting your diet? And so he said to me the thing that most people say, I've tried so hard to

[00:15:17] eat healthy, but it is just so boring. I can only eat so much salad. So I said, what if I could show you how to eat healthy, how to make the things that you like taste good.

[00:15:32] And his eyebrows raised and his wife leaned in and she said, I would certainly cook whatever you're suggesting. So we went through this process of talking about the different places to find how to make their recipes healthier, the substitutions that would be needed. I gave them some resources

[00:15:55] and I asked him, are you willing to try it? And they're like, absolutely. And the next month they came back, his blood pressure was down and he was so excited about how healthy had he had been eating

[00:16:08] and his wife came in and she was like, yeah, doc, look at, I made this recipe. She brought you know, the papers of the recipes that she had been cooking and it's all because they were

[00:16:17] willing to believe something different and recognize that, you know, there are resources. I gave them the resources, there were resources around them, but that's something that that's a conversation that hadn't been had in the past. So that's an example where belief changed, which changed the

[00:16:32] actions which gave a different result. Those are great examples. Thank you so much. I love that. Well, any last minute advice you have for the audience as they're trying to change their limiting beliefs so that they can, like you said, have a different outcome?

[00:16:49] Yes. Well, you know, we talked about the tips. But what I want to leave you with is if in fact you're working really hard to change your beliefs and you find like you're having trouble

[00:17:00] doing it, sometimes you might have a blind spot and you may need to work with someone. So if that's the case, don't be ashamed to reach out for help because there are lots

[00:17:11] of people even like yourself, right? That do this work. This is why you have this podcast. And so it's important to reach out to those people who may have a view that you don't have and be

[00:17:23] able to see into those blind spots to help you to tackle those limiting beliefs and to be able to reset so that you can choose a new belief, a new behavior and move on to a new result.

[00:17:35] Perfect. Perfect. Well, how can somebody reach out to you and want to work with you at all? Yes, absolutely. If you are interested now, the work that I do one-on-one with people is really unsubconscious mind work. I help that the people who are when you have these,

[00:17:51] the beliefs that are under the surface that maybe you don't even realize you have, those are the things that I bring forth. And I do that through hypnotherapy and I do that through neurolinguistic programming. And so if you've worked, even if you're working

[00:18:03] with someone, I often partner with other coaches and therapists and you just can't quite get to the root of it. That's when you would reach out to someone like me and you can learn more about

[00:18:13] that the way though I work with people at mindremappingacademy.com. That's mindremappingacademy.com. Excellent. And that will be in the show notes. So thank you so very much, Dr. Clairborn, for just coming and just sharing all your knowledge. Like this is perfect. This is perfect.

[00:18:33] And thank you all for joining us today on another episode of the Back on Track Achieving Healthy Weight Loss Podcast. If you liked this episode, please share with others,

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